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@@ -31,4 +31,4 @@ Waiting on response.... <br>
Waiting on response.... <br>
<b>Gonzo</b><br>
Waiting on response.... <br>
To say I love almonds is an understatement. To say almonds are my life is more accurate. This is the story of how my passion for my nutty little friends nearly landed me in federal prison. Now, I'm the type of person to milk something I love for everything it has. In this particular case, it involved literally milking these azure gems, until I had what I needed: Unsweetened, original almond milk. I go through at least 4 gallons of the stuff a week. I mean, who could resist? Low calorie, high flavor, no lactose with which to abuse my intestines? What more could a man want? Well, they don't call them Blue Diamonds for nothing... my wallet began to suffer. So I did what I could, I went to Aldi, I budgeted- anything to continue my addiction. Until I found myself on an administrative account of an admiral almond associate. From here it was simple: I had found lifetime access to an allotment of all almond associated accessories. Frantically, I got them shipped to my next door neighbor, who worked during the day and I knew wouldn't be home. However, I made one teensy-tiny misstep, by failing to realize that nearly 500kg of almond products cannot simply arrive domestically without attracted unappreciated almond-eyed attention. The day felt right.. the almond breeze felt like silk against my skin. As the trucks approached however, the situation felt less like almond joy and more like payday pain, as the peanut police pulled past, parking parallel to the path. The PPD? This wasn't normally their jurisdiction- they mainly concerned themselves with peanut problems, occasionally cashew crimes, but never almond arrests. Uh oh. They approached my door, and after affirming my identity, they took everything. Not a single nut left unharvested in my whole house. They tore apart the walls, found the stash I had squirrelled away under the staircase, above the ceiling, inside my shirt pockets. Thankfully, the plunder they took was enough to prevent the pressing of persistent charges. Nevertheless, this was the end of the nepharious nut negotiation. To this day, I am a changed man. Well, as much of a man as you can be after such a tragedy.<br>